Knives and Silent Tears
by ithinkilikeknivestoomuch395
Summary: Jade seems to become more secretive by the day. Now that Beck has left Jade alone, it's up to Tori to figure out what's wrong. But the problem may be worse than she ever dreamed. POST TWC. Jori FRIENDSHIP with Bade later. Warning:Self-harm/abuse
1. Chapter 1

Finally, the long-awaited first chapter of You Thought You Knew me.. be sure to review so I know how I'm doing! Warning: this chapter is the longest chapter I've written yet. Enjoy~~!

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It had been five minutes since the bell rang, and Sikowitz was still nowhere to be seen. The fact that the odd teacher was late for class _again_ wasn't really helping improve Jade's mood. She had been nasty all day, snapping at anyone within a five-foot radius. Her hip had been hurting since last night, causing her to get mad at anyone, or anything, in her way. Her hip wasn't entirely to blame for her sour mood, though. It was what _caused _her hip to be bruised.

-  
_The Night Before  
-_

Jade's heart stopped as she heard the door to her house swing open. She had been so busy texting Cat that she didn't hear her father's car pull into the driveway.

"Jaaaaaddelyynnnn," she heard her father slur as the door closed. She felt the pace of her heartbeat grow faster.

"JADELYN!" This time, it was a loud shout, which made her jump.

Her heart raced as she jumped off of her bed and sprinted downstairs, trying her best not to trip and fall in the darkness of the night. She knew better than to ignore her father when he called her. It would only make things worse. Unfortunately, her father seemed to feel like ignoring him once was enough.

"You brat," he snarled as soon as she reached the bottom of the stairs. "When I call you, you answer me right away! Understand?" he strode over to her, his face now inches from her own. She could smell the strong scent of alcohol on his hot breath, causing her breath hitch in her throat involuntarily.

"Y-yes..." she mumbled, silently scolding herself for stammering.

Without warning, he grabbed her around her neck. He gave her a crazed smirk once he saw her eyes widen, then threw her against the stairs with surprising strength. Her hip forcefully hit the corner of one of the steps, causing her to let out a small cry of pain.

Before he could grab her again, she quickly scrambled up the stairs. She dashed down the hallway, into her darkly painted room, then slammed the door and quickly locked it, gasping for breath. She heard her father laugh and walk away into the kitchen, most likely to get another beer, signaling that he was finished with her.

For the night, at least.

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Ugh!" Jade sighed, extremely annoyed now. "Why does Sikowitz _always _have to be late for class?"

"Maybe he had an appointment," Robbie offered. Jade rolled her eyes.

"In the middle of the school day?" she hissed, exasperated. "Clearly _you're _the one who needs the appointment." She didn't think she could stand being in this classroom with all of these people for much longer.

"Jade..." Beck started, apparently out of habit. Jade's heart broke at the familiar feeling of him trying to calm her down.

"Shut _up_, Beck!" Jade snarled, picking up her school bag. She finally snapped. _There is no __**way**__ in __**hell**__ I'm going to spend all period in this stupid classroom_, she mentally decided. She stood up, slung her black and grey bag over her shoulder, and strode out of the classroom angrily, barely getting the door out of her way in time. She knew exactly where she was heading. The janitor's closet.

When she arrived at the small familiar closet, she immediately sat on the floor, leaned her head against the wall on the door, and opened her book bag. She searched frantically for her system of relief, letting out a large breath she didn't know she was holding in when she finally found it.

Her pocket knife.

Jade pulled up her sleeve, setting the cold metal to her wrist before pressing down. She let out a sigh of relief when she felt her skin split under the razor-sharp edge, and saw her blood beading it's way out of her wrist, creating a line where she had originally set the blade.

She took the blade off of her wrist and set it on the ground, pulling out a tissue from her book bag. She sat and watched as the blood dripped down her arm, loving the look of her pale skin against the dark red liquid.

Most of all, she loved the feeling of numbness it gave her, even if it was only temporary. It enabled her to forget about her father. About how she had to live in fear every time she was home.

When Jade did this, she could forget how much pain she went through because of how much she still loved Beck. It felt like every day, whenever she saw him, her heart was breaking all over again. When she and him were still a couple, she could go over to his RV whenever she wanted to if she needed to escape from her father. He would never ask why she was there, just comfort her and tell her that he was there for her. She hadn't felt the need to cause herself pain, so Beck had never found out about her longing for it. Now that they were broken up, she was forced to live with her dad, and to deal with his daily beatings.

Jade suddenly heard the lunch bell ring, snapping her out of her thoughts. She let out a heavy sigh, dreading having to face everyone after she had been so easily set off. _I guess I'll have to face them later, anyway_, she thought, wiping her blood away with the tissue and throwing it in her bag, along with her pocket knife. She stood up and covered her wrist back up before opening the door and walking confidently out, trying her best to look normal and inconspicuous.

Jade first walked up to the Grub Truck before handing Festus a five-dollar bill without even needing to tell him what she wanted. It was the same every day. Black coffee, two sugars. Seconds later, her coffee was handed to her, along with her change. She walked over to the usual lunch table, where Tori and Cat were already sitting. She took a seat next to Tori, ignoring the friendly wave she had given her. Tori, used to this, was hardly fazed by the action.

"Hey," Tori greeted. "Where've you been?"

"None of your business, Vega," Jade instantly shot back, opening her bag and putting the change from her coffee inside.

Tori raised both of her hands in front of her in a surrendering gesture. "Sorry, sorry," she mumbled. She glanced at Jade's open book bag, then did a double-take when she saw what looked like a bloody paper towel. But by the time she had looked again, Jade had already put her change away and the bag was closed.

Tori tried shaking off the feeling of unease that was slowly creeping up on her, and turned to Cat, accidentally bumping Jade's hip in the process. Tori felt Jade flinch violently next to her as she was opening her mouth to speak, but turned to Jade before she said anything, thinking about questioning her for her odd behavior.

"Are you okay?" Tori asked cautiously.

"Why, yes, everything's just fine and dandaroonie!" Jade replied with a smirk, in her mock-Tori voice.

"I don't talk like that!"

"Whatever." Jade mumbled.

Tori had a feeling that Jade had just said that to distract her from her question. She really couldn't help but wonder;

_Is Jade hiding something?_

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I'm sorry! I know it's been two day, but I got SO freaking blocked, it was actually unbelievable. I was thinking about splitting this chapter in half, but then I was like, whatever. And stuff. Sorry, I'm tired. Anyway...

Hehehe... -evil smirk-. I have quite a bit of exciting things planned for this story. And I'm sorry, but Cat and Tori are going to be getting involved. And let me tell you, it might not be pretty. Cat quote: "Yay! I love excitement!" Well, she might not after this... muahahahahaaaa...

Any ideas are welcome! I won't judge you if it's violent, I promise. Heh.

And I just wanted to let you guys know...  
I'm thinking about starting a story soon called You Thought This Was Over. Here's the summary:  
_"Please, Jade. This is far from over." he mumbled. Jade laughed. "Yeah. Famous last words." If only she had known how far some went to get revenge... even if it seems to be in the past. Sequel to I'll Be There, but you don't have to read it to understand this story._  
Excited for this story yet? You should be. Let's just say our old friend Nick is looking for some revenge four/five years later...  
Muahahahaha.

Review and I'll keep working on this story! Tell me what you think of this chapter and the summary of the new story. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

I got a few good ideas so I decided to continue again... Enjoy~~!  
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_Well, this day has just been great_, Jade thought, rolling her eyes as she walked into her large house and made her way up to her room. She had been caught on her phone in her Theatre History class, and had gotten a detention. As soon as her father got home, she knew for a fact she was going to be beaten senseless because of it. _Vega probably knows something, too, and she's probably going to tell the whole freaking school everything. God, she's such a priss._

Jade took out a pair of scissors from her book bag before throwing it on her bed and heading into her personal bathroom. She slammed the door closed, locked it, and sat on the edge of the bathtub before pulling up her sleeve. _Stupid Vega,_ Jade thought, tracing her index finger over the familiar scars on the inside of her arm. She put one of the blades on the open pair of scissors on her wrist before dragging it across.

_Stupid Vega, _she thought once again.

Jade moved up her wrist slightly and pressed the blade down once again.

_Beck is probably with her now._

She dragged the blade across her wrist.

_She's perfect and apparently a much better girlfriend._

She continued moving up her arm, making identical red marks until about halfway to her elbow crease. She watched as the blood began to run down her arms and fall onto the floor below, making little dark red splotches on the pure white tiles, appreciating the feeling of numbness she was having.

Jade walked over to the sink after what felt like hours of watching the blood slowly drip off of her arm, and washed the blood away and set the scissors on the counter before taking a bit of toilet paper and wiping the red splotches off of the floor. She felt a bit dizzy, and decided it was probably a good idea to rest for a while. Jade was about to open the door, when suddenly, she heard a voice coming from the other side, in her room.

"Jadey?"

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Sorry, I know it was short. But I was blocked. I'll try to post the next chapter today, but it's more likely if you review!


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry I couldn't update yesterday. I fell asleep.

Enjoy~~!

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Jade felt her blood run cold.

_What the hell is Cat doing here?_, she wondered.

"Cat?" Jade called through the door confusedly, fumbling to pull her sleeve back over her wrist. She felt very drowsy, and it was as though trying to simply pull her sleeve back down was like trying to solve a rubix cube. Her heart stopped as she saw the handle turn before the door opened, revealing Cat on the other side.

Jade quickly put her hand behind her back, hiding the cuts that she could feel were still slightly bleeding. "How the hell did you get in my house?"

"You left your house keys at school," Cat giggled. "But your front door was unlocked, so I didn't need to use them to come in. What'cha doin'?"

"N-nothing, Cat," Jade stammered. She saw Cat looking behind her, into the bathroom, and suddenly her eyes widened. Cat pushed past her, dropping the house keys on the floor, and walked over to the pair of scissors that still had blood on them. She looked up at her best friend, and Jade could see tears already forming in her eyes.

"Jadey..." Cat whimpered. "Y-you said you stopped."

Jade hated it whenever Cat cried, and it made her want to kill whatever or whoever caused the tears to leave the redhead's eyes. She hated herself, knowing that this time, she was the cause of her worry. Cat suddenly grabbed Jade's left arm, the one that she had still been hiding behind her back. Seeing the bloody cuts on her arm, Cat cupped a hand over her mouth, as if they only confirmed her worst fears.

"Cat," Jade murmured. "I...I'm sorry."

Everything was silent for a short minute, before Cat sat on the edge of the bathtub with tears rolling down her cheeks, where Jade had been sitting just minutes before. Just as Jade was about to sit beside her, she suddenly heard the front door slam open.

"JADELYN!"

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Sorry, I know this and the last chapter are short, but I feel really sick at the moment and I have a killer stomachache at the moment, so it's been really hard to concentrate. The next chapter might be a bit short, too, but I'll try to make the one after that a bit longer. I was originally going to make the last chapter, this one, and the next one all one chapter, but I didn't want to keep you guys waiting that long, so here it is.

Review and I'll try to update ASAP! V


	4. Chapter 4

Because I've left you waiting so long, I'm putting all of the author's note at the bottom of this chapter so you can get right to reading. Enjoy!~~

Jade's heart stopped. She couldn't move. She couldn't run. She just stood there, completely shocked and unsure of what to do. Cat had known about her cutting, but she didn't know about her father.

"Jadey," Cat whispered, "Who's at the door?"

When Jade simply continued looking out into space with a dumbfounded expression, Cat whimpered in confusion and fear. _What's wrong with Jade?, _she wondered. Cat was about to say something more, when suddenly, she heard slow footsteps begin up the stairs outside of Jade's room. The creaking of the wooden stairs seemed to make Jade finally snap out of her confused state, and her expression instantly turned from shock to one of pure horror.

"Cat," Jade hissed under her breath, hardly loud enough for Cat to hear. "Stay in here and lock the door, okay?" When Cat nodded slowly and confusedly, Jade continued once again. "I'm serious, Cat. Do not come out under any circumstances until I say it's okay to do so. Understand?" She nodded again, faster this time, now feeling very worried. Cat could clearly see what she could only describe as _fear _in Jade's bright blue eyes, and she couldn't remember any other time she'd seen anything even slightly similar to that in Jade's expression.

Jade turned around and walked out of the bathroom, lightly yet firmly closing the door behind her, just as the door to her room slammed open.

"Hello, Jadelyn," her father murmured, his voice low and dangerous. Jade didn't know what to say, so she simply stood, glaring at her father, waiting for him to making the next move.

She didn't have to wait long. Her father strode across the room, stopping inches away from her - and in the process sticking his head close enough to her face for her to smell the alcohol on his hot breath - before speaking.

"I got a call today, Jade," he started, his voice almost dripping with venom. "You got a detention." It wasn't a question. She nearly jumped. She'd completely forgotten about that.

Part of Jade - her hopeful side - was telling her to run and try to escape while she could. The other part of her - her logical side - was pointing out that Cat was still here, and she couldn't leave her behind to her father. She had about a five percent chance of actually succeeding in escaping, anyway. Jade finally decided to stay and take the beating. She just wished Cat wouldn't be there to hear all of it. All she could do was hope Cat would listen to her and stay in the bathroom.

Without further warning, her father firmly grabbed her and effortlessly lifted her up into the air by her throat. "I'm sick of your act, Jadelyn," he snarled. Jade gasped and struggled to breathe as his grip on her throat tightened, before he threw her across the room, making her head slam into the corner of the wall. She instantly started feeling warm liquid begin to ooze through the roots of her hair as she gasped for oxygen.

"You deserve to suffer," her father continued, slowly and drunkenly walking towards her again and kneeling down beside her. He grabbed an empty glass from the bedside table beside him - that Jade now remembered had been her water glass from yesterday - and pulled his arm back far before he smashed it onto her shoulder. She felt the glass instantly shatter into a million pieces and splinter their way into her entire arm, drawing a large amount of blood. She held back her screams of pain that were threatening to escape her lungs, knowing that she had to for Cat's sake.

In her dazed and painful state, she hadn't realized that both of her sleeves had fallen down, exposing the cuts and scars on both of her wrists. That is, until her father noticed it. He glanced at them, then did a double take when he saw the angry red marks. Almost instantly, he changed positions and pinned her down by her cuts, knowing it would cause her even more pain.

This time, Jade couldn't hold back her scream of agony. Not even for Cat's sake.

"So this is what the bad, strong, Jade West does in her spare time?" her father laughed humorlessly, gesturing with his head to her arms. "How pathetic."

Whether she passed out or her father just left didn't matter to her. Jade, at this point, was simply praying for everything to be over.

She felt one last sharp pain pierce through her left leg - which Jade assumed was the remainder of the water glass - before her father slowly stood up, stumbling back slightly as he did so, and drunkenly walked out of Jade's room, slamming the door closed behind him.

Jade let out a sigh of pure relief when she heard the door slam. She stared up at the ceiling for a few moments, trying to find the strength to get up.

"Cat?" Jade called, finally giving up on trying to move. "You can come out."  
The doorknob to the bathroom turned slowly and creakily, and the door opened in the same manner. Cat's wide, scared brown eyes were filled with tears as she peered around the door and saw the state her best friend was in.

"Oh my god," Cat breathed, rushing over to where Jade lay. The only sign of movement coming from her best friend was the uneven rise and fall of her chest, though Cat was grateful for that much. She knelt beside her friend, not having a single clue about what to do. "Jadey..."

"I'm okay, Cat," Jade lied, knowing ahead of time though that Cat wouldn't buy it, no matter how ditzy she was sometimes. Jade felt a few wet splotches drop on her shirt.

"No, Jade," Cat whimpered. "You're bleeding really... really badly..." She paused for a minute, scanning over Jade's body and stopping on her left leg before looking back into her icy blue eyes that were full of pain. "Why... why didn't you _tell _me?" Cat demanded.

"I... couldn't." Jade replied after a short pause. "But I... really didn't want you to find out this way, Cat."

"Jade..." Cat whispered. "Can you promise me one thing?" Jade attempted to nod, but murmured a quick "sure" once she found it was difficult while lying on her back. "Will you please, please, please sleep over my house tonight?"

_Well, if it makes Cat feel better about this, then why not?_, Jade thought to herself. "Of course, Cat."

Jade hated seeing her best friend crying, so packing a bag was totally worth the smile that just then graced Cat's lips.

"Thanks Jadey."

I wanted to update for you guys, so please excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes if there are any.

Not really that much of a cliffhanger, but whatever.

Okay, warning you right now, this is going to be one hell of an author's note.

I've got a ton of things to say, but first, I'd just like to say that I am SO sorry for not updating, and yes, clearly, I'm still alive. I swear, I've had half of the next chapters to all of my stories finished, and I have EVERYTHING all planned out, but I've just been finding it so hard to write. But I'm getting out of my extreme writer's block, so there may be more often updates. But I can't promise updates every day. Sorry. I think later I may schedule a certain day every week that I have to update, but I'm still not sure.

So, moving on to the next topic.

So, for anyone who hasn't heard the heartbreaking news, Victorious, the show that I have written FIVE STORIES on is ENDING. In FIFTEEN EPISODES. If you want more info about this, go to Dan's twitter(DanWarp).

BUT. There is story here on fanfiction called Let's Save Victorious, and I'm sure there are others like it, but the one I'm thinking of is by StrawberryAngel143. Look up the story and and follow the instructions, and it just may help keep Victorious on Nickelodeon. I doubt it, but hey, a girl can hope.

So. Next, I have a twitter and if I get more followers, I'll start posting updates on my stories and other crap that happens in my life if anyone's interested on either of those things. My twitter is: Vicjoriouss (This link it twitter vicjoriouss )

Next: There's a poll on my profile page that you can check out if you're bored.

Now, about this story and my other ones.

Like I said before, I have pretty much everything planned out for all of my stories, but I am _**still taking ideas **_for anything I can fit in(but there's no guarantee I'll be able to use your idea).

**EDIT: I just changed the ending completely. Now it's simply Jori friendship. I feel like I can't even hint at love without making them completely out of character.**

**But there's still a huge twist at the end. Right when you think it's over... it's not. Muahahaa.**

And wow, I just looked back at that entire paragraph and realized that I talk wayyy too much. And I said pretty much nothing at all.

Just two more things.

I'm starting something I'm going to call "My Random Thoughts At 4AM." If I get a random thought while I'm trying to go to sleep, whether it be remembering a conversation for earlier that day, or a thought about Victorious, I text it to my e-mail, and then from there I put it on here the next day, at the end of the chapters of my stories. They have to be 160 characters or less, sadly though, because my phone is stupid :(. Unless I find a way around it later.

Today's Random Thought:  
(Conversation)  
My brother: "Ugh, this salad is gross!"  
Me: "Well, at least your salad didn't get CANCELLED. (AHEMVictorious)

Last but not least, please please please please review! V

Again, sorry for the long author's note.


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